Who Is the Inebriated Baker?

A few years back, I was hiking the Appalachian Trial and I was told the tale of Cletus, the inebriated mountain baker and chef. As it was told to me, the story goes…

Cletus was once known as Reginald Tigris Livingston III from New York City. Rumor has it that Reginald was once a famed pastry chef and celebrated restaurateur who left it all behind for a small cabin deep in the Appalachian Mountains after a six-month decompression hiking trek along the Appalachian Trail turned into a decades-long exploration of self-discovery and self-reflection.

Reginald visited one mountain community after another crisscrossing the Appalachian states. He soaked in all of the Appalachian Region’s history and culture devouring the sights, sounds, and tastes of the mountains. He marveled at the independent, ‘can-do’ spirit of the resilient peoples who call the mountains home and admired their shared collectivist values that puts community front and center and stresses the importance social justice, respect, and fairness. Along the way, somewhere in West Virginia, Reginald was taken in by a retired coal miner and white lightning connoisseur. Reginald stayed with the old timer for many years learning the art of distillation. The old-timer’s name was Cletus. Reginald renamed himself in honor of the man who took him in, taught him the ways of the Appalachian people, and treated him as kin.

Over the years, Cletus has become somewhat of an eccentric local celebrity. Cletus has made a name for himself baking up sweet and savory treats for locals, day packers, and thru-hikers living around and navigating along the Appalachian Trail. Cletus was never seen without his chef’s hat, a plate of savory or confectionery delights, and a jug of homemade white lightening prompting locals and trekkers to nickname him the Inebriated Baker®.

Cletus decided that it was time to re-enter the culinary world with his reinvented mountain-style take on culinary and confectionery delights. Cletus was tired of seeing people pay $4 for a tiny cupcake with a huge glob of tasteless frosting. The final straw was when Cletus saw bakeries claiming that they had the best alcohol-infused cupcake cocktails.

The hard-core moonshiner that Cletus was, he could not taste any booze because it was either baked out of the cake or only two measly tablespoons of booze was added to the frosting used for 12+ cakes.

Cletus thought ‘alcohol-infused’ was for sissy city-folks who could not handle their booze. Cletus wanted to market hardcore alcohol-saturated cakes that bite you back! ™

Cletus was determined to make a truly edible cocktail not just a sissy cocktail-flavored cake. Cletus knew that he had to reinvent the bakery marketplace by offering jumbo sized cupcakes with a full 1 oz. shot of premium booze in each and every cake.

Of course, no Inebriated Baker® confectionery delight would be complete without the signature moonshine-soaked cherry on top. As a traditionally-trained moonshiner, Cletus believes in the healing power of moonshine to fix all of life’s woes! He is a firm believer that moonshine is the medicine to cure what ails you, which is why all of his cupcakes are topped with a moonshine-soaked cherry.

Since Cletus is never without his trademark moonshine jug, sometimes he indulges in his ‘medicine’ too much and he randomly gives away discounts, gift cards, and branded merchandise, and gear. Cletus loves giving back to his loyal customers and supportive community with discounts, promotional items, freebies, and special event invitations.